I’m thinking windmills in the backyard, bees behind the garage, goats in front. Hey, I’m making an “investment in the future”, so why should laws apply to me? I’m an authority of One.

Ah, yes, a majority of the Wilmette village board voted to approve a
homeowner’s solar panels. He had built an addition to their home and added a solar superstructure on the roof that exceeded the limits set down in the village ordinance.The board approved this after the fact.

I’m thinking goats on a sod roof, very eco-friendly insulation and circle of life-style. (You know, like that cute restaurant in Door County.). I’m thinking maybe a solar-powered neon sign up there: “Give Peace a Chance”, or “Kyoto Now”. Or maybe “Fait Accompli”. Flashing.

.So the village board is now working on an ordinance to presumably expand the size of solar panels allowed. And I would hope they would think my ideas worthy as well. I have expectations now. Maybe even Great Expectations.

The majority of the village board espouses a light footprint for this spot on planet Earth—except when they don’t. .Let’s see…If you trim your parkway tree yourself, you get in trouble. If the village cuts down healthy trees (they’re below average you see) that’s OK. This spring the Emerald Ash Borer was spotted in Wilmette. The first response was a plan to cut down all Wilmette’s ash trees. To date, 116 have been chopped up.

Let’s hope in future the village decides to use a systemic insecticide rather than cut down the rest. You need a village permit for everything…except when you don’t. And permits come with a price—a little invited bribery… One resident’s remarks before the vote on the Soviet-style “voluntary” contribution for “affordable” housing: “There’s no legal requirement for the petitioner to make this contribution. The only way they can get their permit is to negotiate their contribution: I can’t see that is not an abuse of your power.”
She added, “If it’s the policy to accumulate money in a fund, then I think all of the residents should pay their way into it. I don’t think an elderly woman should have to pay money put of her pocket nor the people she’s selling her house to.”

She said room additions and kitchen remodeling all make houses more valuable, “so tax everybody who’s making their housing less affordable. “Why hit real estate with more taxation when the housing market is ailing?”

I guess that’s one way to achieve “affordable” housing, knock down housing values even more. Though affluent, at least for now, Wilmette has some unpaved alleys and aging roads and sewers, (and we could use a better back-up generator for our
storm-water pumping station)—so some our brilliant village board voted to engage in a little foreign policy: open our wallets
and adopt the Kyoto Treaty—like a work of art with a nearly blank canvas and one “inspired” squiggle that could cost millions.

Is it worth it? Is it art? Is it really beautiful? But it makes us feel better. Doesn’t it? We are making a difference. Aren’t we?

We on the North Shore are paying a stiff price not only for our real
estate but for our keeping-up-with-the-Joneses’ moral superiority. One of my friends was harassed by a neighbor who told her it was very déclassé for her to mow her own lawn. She was bringing down the neighborhood. Best to leave it to the professionals. We are paying more for more regulation to harass us more. We have an award-winning town but not an award-winning budget.

Taxes are up. Employee health insurance costs alone are up—- from $1 mm in 2000 to $2.5 mm in 2007. We are so fortunate to have a “diversified revenue base”, new user based-fees! In 2002 we got the monthly refuse fee and ambulance fee (a little unfortunate in the choice of words but there you are.). In 2003 the E-911 surcharge (a fee added to a fee apparently). In 2005 the .25% home rule sales tax. In 2007 the gas tax, pavement degradation fee and vehicle sticker fee increase. The village
board decreed family cars had to pay more than those who could afford pricey, tinny little supposed Smart cars..

We are now paying for employees (and presumably a GIS system, at $100,000 plus per annum in the budget) to track our tree canopy. None of this low-tech and sporadic stuff, no more pictures from circling helicopters. No, the village is so worried about citizen tree-abuse they have to officially monitor it. The laissez-faire level was 50%, but we needed an ordinance set at 35%. Even one of its proponents said it amounted to a tree in the front yard, a tree in the back yard, but it took 8 pages to say so.

The tree police are out in force. Next: shoe police? One recent
board skirmish involved the proposed downtown underground parking plaza, hideously expensive, but with decorative walks. . An
objection was raised that it would be treacherous for women wearing heels. The response from one board member——women shouldn’t wear heels!

. As for policing criminals, no need. After all, Wilmette has banned hand guns. No problem, right? But now the village has to ban air rifles that are displayed or discharged. But still, no worries, right? Just ban the activity and it ceases. So how can this be? Wilmette’s police chief: says, “If a thief comes back because he found a row of unlocked cars the first time, we’re not doing what we can to deter theft. And it’s affecting the overall quality of the neighborhood as well.

Wilmette put out a welcome mat for thieves with the gun ban, but it’s our fault People aren’t locking their cars. Well, what do you expect with official encouragement of such a hippie happy nanny state attitude. t’s up to the government to handle everything, right? (Note to self: another idea for sign on roof “Lock your cars” or maybe “Nothing here worth stealing” Just in case that twice-burglar comes back again. Oh, he already has.

Then there are all those commissions. Admirable in intent, I wonder whether so many make sense. Here are just a few:

The Appearance Review Commission,

The Historic Preservation Commission,

The Housing Commission,

The Community Relations Commission.

They seem to evolve into agenda-driven ploys for more government spending. at times have
conflicting goals, and burn up village staff time at a horrendous rate.

I have sympathy for most village employees. Until they go through a revolving door when they quit and show up as consultants hired by the village, advocating “affordable”
housing for village employees and broaching the subject of eminent
domain. One former village manager resurfaces as president of the League of Liberal Women Voters, which has never seen a tax increase it didn’t like.

Of course, it’s always someone else who’s supposed to pay the taxes. Those new people who buy houses here so their children can go to our wonderful schools. Our schools are wonderful, so wonderful they don’t actually have to teach our children everything they need to know. We have to have enrichment activities, like spelling out words with your finger in the air, atching movies or writing math journals——how to doodle your way to Einstein’s theory of relativity. So creative!

Just better budget, parents, for those K-12 tutors. You know, the ones you find in the library after school, those familiar faces——their
teachers, getting a little private-sector enrichment. But better
not bring up anything like this at a school board meeting. I recall a
candidate for District 39 school board concluded a talk on
whether our good schools could be improved with a lovely poem called, “Pretty Good”.

This winning candidate was a high-powered lawyer and
this is what he advocated for the children of Wilmette:

:There once was a pretty good student

Who sat in a pretty good class

And was taught by a pretty good teacher

Who always let the pretty good pass.

He wasn’t terrific at reading,

He wasn’t a whiz-bang at math,

But for him, education was leading

Straight down a pretty good path.

He stopped there. Trust me, he said this in all seriousness.

I don’t know if he didn’t read the rest of the poem, (maybe one of his handlers sent it to him) but my jaw dropped. Occasionally some good sense cuts through but real improvement is always an open question. And many parents are often the worst cheerleaders for mediocrity——they don’t want to know whether their child is actually learning anything as long as his/her grades look good.

Standardized tests? Let’s just look at how we compare to the rest of the state, or the national average. If we don’t show much improvement, no problem, go along with the
administrators and switch to a different testing regimen, so there will be no pesky comparisons over time. If they’re desperate, “lose” the scores.

And never, never ask for clear comparisons with similar
districts across the country. It continues to amaze me
that people paying to live in some of the most expensive real estate in the country aren’t more demanding about the real quality of life in the village, or the true quality of their kids’ schooling.

The North Shore——paying through the nose for inflated results.

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Anne Leary is a popular blog author living in Wilmette, Illinois.

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